Which is it?

Hi, we have been talking so much lately about the social media tools that Elizabeth & I have been working with….and teaching others about, I thought I would get back to some of the "work we love" topics in light of Richard Leider's first session tomorrow unlocking the new research results published by The Mature Market Institute in January. (For more about this study and Richard's teleseminar tomorrow 2/4/09 GO HERE).

I listened to a talk a couple of months ago by Dick Bolles, author of "What Color is Your Parachute?".  He made many excellent points, but one hit home particularly strongly with me. (BTW, Dick has written a 2009 update to "Parachute", if you want get it, here is a link to it on Amazon.What Color Is Your Parachute? 2009: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers
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The questions are: Is Happiness a product or a by-product? Is Happiness a goal or a state of being that we arrive at when pursuing or achieving other goals?

Can you REALLY pursue Happiness?

As some of you know, I have thought and written a little about happiness, because I have been perplexed by people whom I have met over the years who never seem happy, in  a perpetual state of "looking for more" to be happy.  Historically, I have thought of happiness as a choice.

Well, I won't give up on my view that a "glass half full" outlook is something that happy, fulfilled and productive people seem to have.  However, maybe happiness is not necessarily a choice, but a result of our being and doing things that fulfill us as human beings.

Maybe pursuing happiness is a waste of our time, but rather, we should pursue those things that fulfill us, give us a sense of purpose and accomplishment and happiness will just magically be there…

Yesterday, when Elizabeth & I met with Richard Leider in preparation for tomorrow's session (To find out more about the sesssion and register GO HERE) ,

we discussed another similar paradox with respect to vocation, meaning, purpose.   How many of us as we embarked on our careers and lives in early adulthood thought that it went like this:

1)First I need to find a good job to earn money to build my life

2) Then, I need to do those things that build my life: climb the corporate ladder, take on leadership roles, develop my skills, find a significant other, have a family, become famous,……etc.

3) Then, I will "Be"I will have "Achieved", "I will be "Fulfilled"

So, I think the old paradigm is Having–>Doing–>Being.

However, maybe this is the wrong order.

How many of us have arrived in midlife having done much of the "Having" and "Doing" that we had planned, but we still feel we have arrived at any special place….and find that although we can feel good about where we are, there is so much more? (and not forgetting that now, in addition, many also need to "have" a bit more…AGAIN due to our tough economic times!)

Well, Richard would suggest that maybe the order should be Being–>Doing–>Having.  If you are being and doing first…..being secure in your own skin, doing what gives you a sense of purpose, work you love, you will be able to develop THAT work into a vocation for yourself.

Having is a result of Being who you are and Doing what you love.

So, which is it?

1) Is Happiness a product or a by-product?

2) Is the order, Having–>Doing–>Being   OR   Being–>Doing–>Having

I have shared these concepts with my 17 year old who  will be embarking on college next fall.  I waited until midlife to ponder these concepts, maybe he will be lucky enough to ponder them as he chooses his course of study,career, and whom he chooses to be… in young adulthood!