A boomer's reflection: The anti-power of assumption

People are individuals.  I am reminded of this in many different ways throughout my life. 

- How many of you have witnessed others, a coach, a teacher, a leader, who is leading a group of people, but alienates one or more of the group?

I was kicking off a multi-day leadership training a few years ago and started off by asking the participants to indicate what they intended to get out of the training.  One leader popped up his hand and said that he knew his leadership method, but that he wanted to learn about others and potentially ways to hone his style. Fact is, this was a required training and he was there because his boss told him to go.  Fact is, based on experience, this was a poor leader who alienated many people who worked for him.  I found his statement about “his leadership method” curious and enlightening as to perhaps why he was ineffectual as a leader. 

Which of us have not reflected on how we as an individual are different from others…..different from our siblings, different from other kids at school, different from other co-workers?  And yet, how many when confronted with a group that we desire to influence, forget that a group is merely a collection of individuals. 

I saw a terrific play last evening….”Third” by the late Wendy Wasserstein performed by the Guthrie Theater company here in the Twin Cities.  It was a terrific performance of a terrific work.  There was much about the play that caused me to self-reflect, but for purposes of this writing, it really reminded me that no matter how smart and open minded we have been or think we are, each of us is capable of assuming things that we should not.  And when we do it, it is almost impossible to self-diagnose…..or even self-realize when brought to our attention.  The heroine in “Third” is an intelligent, accomplished, mature woman who does arrive at that self-realization by the end of the play….good for her!

The best coaches that I have seen find a way….even for a moment to connect with each member of their team…..make EACH feel important to the team’s performance. 

So, next time, you view a group you need to influence, please look at them differently.  See the sea of individuals.  Consider how you might influence each of them so that your wisdom and guidance can have maximal impact on as many of EACH of them as possible. 

So, don’t assume, don’t generalize, don’t sterotype.

Assuming inhibits life’s possibilities. 

Instead, go for it!